Tell Us Your Story!

Featured Member: Cayce Cage

Cayce Cage has built a career around seeing, cultivating, and celebrating other people’s talent, which is why it’s especially nice to be able to celebrate her unique talents as this month’s Featured Member. We love her commitment to others as much as we love her commitment to herself. She is a beacon of respect, support, and enthusiasm in the workplace, which are qualities we value and that lift up everything and everyone.

 

Tell us your work story : Who are you and what do you do?

I am a consultant who specializes in brand building through staffing placement, content creation, training and sales strategies.
 
What is your proudest professional accomplishment?
A 30 year corporate career helping lead and develop people to their potential that became a spring board for me to start my own business.
 
What is the hardest challenge you’ve faced, work-wise?
My hardest challenge was starting a new job, only to find the culture was not the right fit for me.
What advice do you have for other women looking to make a career change but who are afraid or lack confidence? How is it on the other side? 
First, you have to decide what really matters most to you and make that a priority. Once you let go of what you are ‘supposed’ to do or be, it’s very liberating. Then decide what you love doing for work, your passion. Then decide how little money you can live on while you make the transition and find a way to ensure that you have that money for one year while you build your own business. Then hustle, hustle, hustle!
Happiness is not connected to financial income.
 
Do you have any advice on how to craft a winning pitch?
Be yourself and speak your truth. Don’t write what you think they want to hear. Promote your skills and offerings. Have confidence in yourself. You can do this!
 
What continues to draw you to your chosen field and what do you hope to accomplish in the years ahead?
Staffing is where my passion is really based. Helping people find people and helping people grow. I hope to continue to work as a consultant part to full time on a regular basis forever. Maybe write a book…
 
What is the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever received? 
Trust your instincts
 
How do you negotiate the balance between life and work when you’re the one setting the boundaries? 
I make the decisions of balance based on my projects and not taking on too much work that would create an imbalance. Learn when to say ‘no’.
 
If you could tell your younger self one thing about what this professional journey would be like, what would you tell her?
It just keeps getting better!
 
How do you make work work for you?
I have created a business that I can do remotely from anywhere. That’s most important to me.

The Juggle: Lisa Gersh

 

 

THE JUGGLER: Lisa Gersh

HER JOB: Member of the Board Hasbro, Establishment Labs, Popsugar and The Second Shift

MARRIED FOR: 13

NUMBER OF KIDS: Two daughters age 22 and 28.  

 

ON LIFE STAGES: So much depends on your stage of life. Right? There’s one stage where your kids are little, and they’re in school, and you’re working, and going back-and-forth, and trying to figure it all out. That stage is pretty defined. I think it’s more defined than other stages where, you are really busy and you don’t have kids in your life and you’re trying to figure out how to organize with your spouse, and your job, and his job. Maybe it’s just the grass is greener on the other side. But when you look back and say, How did I get through that period of time when I had little kids and a job? I think you get through it by going to work, and coming home, and being with your kids. And that’s pretty much what I always did.

 

ON PUSHBACK: I got the most pushback from my oldest daughter. I wasn’t necessarily committed to going back to work right away. After I had her, I really wanted to be home. I think I made that clear to her, and I ended up getting more pushback. But, when my second child was born, work was not a question, it was just something that was part of her life. She was born in February, and I went back quickly, and then took time over the summer to be with her.

 

But I did get pushback from her about why. So I think it’s important to talk to your children about what you do. You want them to know that you love what you do, because if you don’t love what you do, why are you leaving them every day? 

 

ON THE DAYS BEFORE SMART PHONES AND AMAZON: I remember with Maddie, I got asked to be the first grade mom; this was a real challenge because there was no internet, no email. I’m the first grade mom; how am I communicating with all these mothers with no email? I would literally write a memo, have it printed, and send it to school for them to give them out. It’s crazy to think about it, but there was no easy way to communicate with the group. So, obviously, that part was a lot harder.

 

I also think about the fact that, when I was a lawyer in the beginning, you couldn’t go home and work on a document because that’s not how it worked. There was a word processing center at the law firm and you stayed until the document was done. That said, today it’s really hard for working moms to disconnect; they think they’re disconnected and they think their kids don’t know, but their kids know.

 

One time, I was at one of Samantha’s soccer games—I drove all the way to Staten Island from New York City to go watch her play—and I said, Oh wow, Sammy, that was a great game. And she said, How would you know? You were on your phone the whole time. You don’t even think they’re watching you, but they’re watching you every minute. She’s in the middle of a soccer game and she knows I’m not watching.

 

ON SUPPORT SYSTEMS: My mother was quite available when my children were younger. She lives in New York City and would come over a lot and put the kids to bed if I was stuck in the word processing center. I had a babysitter, too, who, if I was stuck, would stay late. My children’s dad was more traditional and thought it was my job and that he didn’t really have to make any commitments. On the other hand, when he was around, he was fantastic. So there was a healthy balance of parents. But I think you have to rely on your family a lot. When people who have kids tell me they are moving away from their parents, I’m like, don’t do it. You’re going to want them.

 

ON THE SANCTITY OF TIME: You really have to prioritize because things just get away from you otherwise. So, I always hate doing anything on Sunday nights; I like to take Sunday nights and make sure my week is completely organized, and that everything I’m spending time on is something that’s important to me and that’s going to make a difference.

 

The biggest luxury today is time. And I hate wasting it. I’m trying really hard to not be a slave to email. And what I mean by that is not letting someone else control your life by shooting you email. Because if you’re a compulsive-type, like I am, and feel the need to empty your email box all the time, then you can spend your life doing that, and not doing the things that are really going to make a difference.

 

The other thing that’s important to me at the beginning of the week is to make sure my workouts are organized so I know which days I’m doing what. That’s on the top of my list because I need to work out in the morning and if I don’t organize that like a week in advance then that doesn’t happen. 

 

ON BEING SUPERMOM: It took me a while to figure out that there were going to be situations where I wasn’t going to be supermom, and I had to try to give myself a break about it. It’s just a moment in time, and then it’s the next moment. If you prioritize and you enjoy being with your children, you’re going to find that time again. It’s not about, did I do it every single day; it’s cumulative: Was I able to be there for my children? It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. It’s a life. 

 

Read about how Lisa combats the “Sunday scaries” as part of our Juggle partnership with PureWow!

 

The Second Shift and Microsoft take on the “gig economy!”

 

Microsoft was one of the first employee partners we had at The Second Shift, hiring one of our members even before we had the site up and running. And in the years that we have been working together, the “gig economy” team has gone from a few visionaries to an entire cross functional team dedicated to leaning into the freelance economy.

 

When this team asked our co-founder Gina to speak at their Future to Work conference earlier this month she used it as an opportunity to introduce more than 400 employees and partners to The Second Shift and our incredible members. To balance out a day filled with research presentations and panel discussions on productivity, Gina told the story of Marie Thomasson, who found a way to balance her career and life as a single mom of twins with the remote work she did for Microsoft over almost two years. Using this real life example, the audience was given insight into why our members work this way and how valuable they can be to full-time employees.  

 

We are thrilled to be a part of the company wide program that will be rolled out at Microsoft and hope to bring you lots and lots of opportunities!

Featured Member: Jennifer Lazarus

Tell us your work story: Who are you and what do you do? 

 

I am a seasoned digital media professional with 15+ years in content and social media creation and strategy in both the health and wellness and lifestyle categories. I have a proven track record for growing audiences and building retention with unique content and marketing campaigns that bring energy to brands and reach target audiences wherever they are. In my role as Chief Digital Officer, I achieved a 300% growth in audience and revenue for the core digital products while simultaneously building out social media platforms from infancy through maturity, eventually reaching over 1 million engaged users.

 

What is your proudest professional accomplishment?

 

In 2013, I was recognized by Folio magazine among the 100 Most Innovative and Influential Professionals in Magazine Media.

 

What is the hardest challenge you’ve faced, work-wise?

 

The hardest (and most disheartening) challenge I have ever faced was in the earlier days of my career when I encountered women who wanted to hold me back instead of lift me up. I vowed to never repeat history and have made this a focus of any management position I’ve held.

 

If you could change one thing about how your given field operates, particularly with regards to women, what would it be and why?

 

I would want to see more women at the top — in the C-Suite — or seated at the table making big strategy decisions. Women are critical thinkers when it comes to dissecting and understanding audience, and delivering key content to those audiences. In my field, it all comes down to this and we just don’t see enough women filling these roles at big digital media companies. 

 

What advice do you have for other women looking to make a career change but who are afraid or lack confidence? How is it on the other side? 

 

Believe that you are as capable as anyone else who has done the same. It’s not an easy road, but you have what it takes. 

 

Do you have any advice on how to craft a winning pitch?

 

My approach, for better or for worse, is honesty. In other words, I tell them what I know how to do well and I try to never overreach.   

 

What continues to draw you to your chosen field and what do you hope to accomplish in the years ahead?

 

In my field (Digital Media), you are forced to keep up with the latest on everything — so it keeps your mind sharp and au courant. It can also be dizzying. 

 

What is the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever received? 

 

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good (because I could).  

 

Who has been your biggest cheerleader / supporter / mentor?

 

My biggest supporter was my boss of 12+ years who was the president and CEO of the company. He always believed in me, and promoted me at a very young age. He encouraged my ideas and believed in my abilities. With his confidence and support, I felt like I could do anything, truly. I was very lucky to have him as my ally for so long, and because of him, I had many successes.

 

How do you negotiate the balance between life and work when you’re the one setting the boundaries? 

 

This is the toughest challenge and I have to admit I am not so great about it, as hard as I try. I do create a schedule for myself while my kids are in school so I am available after school and in the evenings, but this can sometimes be impossible. I try my best, and hope it all evens out in the end. I don’t know any working parent who doesn’t struggle with this. 

 

If you could tell your younger self one thing about what this professional journey would be like, what would you tell her? 

 

Be prepared for a winding path, and all the challenges that come along with it. And, stop worrying so much. 

 

How do you make work work for you?

 

I have to like what I am doing enough to make it work for me, otherwise, no matter what I do it simply won’t work. 

Want to be a Featured Member? Fill this out to be considered!

Pitch Perfect: Chief Development Officer

 

Why this is the Perfect Pitch: 

  • This candidate’s excitement for the company’s mission jump off the page!
  • She shares why SHE is the right person for this role and how she can personally make an impact.
  • She gives real-life examples that show her expertise, skillset, and personal passion that make her the perfect fit for this opportunity.

Pitch: 

I’m very interested in serving as XXX next Chief Development Officer. The mission of the organization is one that I care deeply about and the role dovetails perfectly with my professional experiences and demonstrated skill set, both of which will allow me to make an immediate and positive impact.  Please allow me to tell you why.

I’ve been developing corporate social responsibility programs anchored in educational advocacy for many years. Ensuring programs are fully funded either by corporate partnerships, high-net worth individuals, foundations, or donors who simply mail in $10 a month faithfully, has been a cornerstone of my work. My successes are the result of two key strengths: my ability to develop, nurture, and sustain relationships; and my ability to convey my passion for a cause to others.

Beyond my professional experiences in this area, I’m also an elected official to the Community Education Council representing Manhattan’s District 2. In my capacity as a school board member, I co-founded a Community Engagement Program and launched an initiative that provides students in transitional housing access to free laundry services.

I’m well versed in liaising with board members, C-suite officers, corporate partners, foundations, and high net-worth individuals, among others.  I’m excited by the prospect of applying my expertise to XX as you continue to expand your reach and impact in the years ahead. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Chief Development Officer Job Description Overview: 

XXX is looking for a senior development professional to help us grow and sustain an innovative portfolio of work to enhance the English proficiency and literacy skills of low-income and immigrant parents and build their capacity to promote their children’s early learning, social-emotional growth, and school readiness. Last year, we served 722 adults and 594 children with intensive classes and reading promotion workshops. We have ambitious plans to expand.

Primary Responsibilities: 

  • Establish and execute strategies to raise funds to meet our revenue goals
  • Focus on institutional donors: apply for grants, sponsorships, and develop non-traditional revenue sources to meet annual goals
  • Engage and support the Board of Directors in their role as fundraisers and brand ambassadors
  • Oversee all other fundraising, cultivation, and stewardship activities including an individual giving program, an annual gala, and several smaller events
  • Set the strategic direction and oversee all communications to achieve our revenue goals
  • Supervise three staff
  • Report to the CEO

Featured Member: Lisa Strong

Lisa M. Strong never stops moving forward. Seemingly indefatigable, she embraces all of the opportunities each phase of her life brings, welcoming the journey and throwing herself headlong into the moment. A multiple-marathoner, she is on the long run when it comes to her career as well, navigating each leg of the race with grace, perspective, and agility, which is why we’ve chosen her as this month’s Featured Member
 
Tell us your work story : Who are you and what do you do?
I graduated with a BS in Marketing and International Business, and started my career in retail management with Walmart Stores, Inc. I then utilized my CPG and management experience at one of the original “big data” companies, Information Resources, Inc, where I assumed an international project management role. During this time I earned my MBA with a concentration in HR Management. I took a career break while raising my family, and was able to take on several volunteer opportunities, including establishing a 5K fundraising race for the local PTA. During my pause, I also ran several marathons and served as Vice President of the booster club for my daughter’s gymnastics team. In 2015, I went back to part-time retail work at The Runner’s Edge, a local run specialty store. I recently completed a course in Agile project management and am currently looking to re-enter the workforce full-time. I am seeking a position at a company with a mission to create positive change in the world.
 
What is your proudest professional accomplishment?
My proudest professional accomplishment is the role I played in the creation and implementation of a new user interface for our database department at IRI. I was chosen to be part of a project team whose charge was to migrate our legacy mainframe system to a Windows-based relational database. I represented my department and worked as part of a cross-functional team to design, develop, and implement the new system at home, as well as in our European offices. It was very satisfying to know that I was part of the project that would bring our clients more accurate data, our company greater efficiency, and our workforce better job satisfaction.
 
What is the hardest challenge you’ve faced, work-wise?
The hardest challenge I’ve faced work-wise was the decision to take a break to stay home after having my first child. I had been intent on going back to work after maternity leave. I loved my job and was experiencing great success. However, at that time, maternity leave was not very long, and most companies were reluctant to allow flex time/work-from-home/job sharing arrangements. I was in the fortunate position to be able to afford to stay home and enjoy time raising my baby (eventually babies). Giving up a blossoming career at a company I loved was a very hard choice. But I wouldn’t change a thing.
 
If you could change one thing about how your given field operates, particularly with regards to women, what would it be and why?
Historically, upper-level management positions have gone to men, especially in marketing/advertising/technology fields. Things are changing, but it is still a bit of a “boys club” atmosphere at the highest levels. I would like to see women selected and promoted and put on track for C-suite positions. I would also like to see board of directors with more gender equality (not just women, but people of color, and gender non-conforming individuals as well).
 
What advice do you have for other women looking to make a career change but who are afraid or lack confidence? How is it on the other side? 
My advice is to do research up front. Identify companies that are friendly towards women in the workplace, and who have programs in place to help you re-launch after a break from the workforce. Identify the skills you have and take a class or workshop to bring them up-to-date. Becoming current will boost your confidence. Talk to friends and coworkers. Ask them what they see in you, and have them identify your positive qualities/skills. This will help boost your confidence, and will give you an idea of how others see you, which can be used to identify jobs that may be a good fit. I’m still looking for my re-launch opportunity, so I cannot yet comment of how it is on the “other side”.
 
Do you have any advice on how to craft a winning pitch?
Be succinct, be honest, be yourself.
 
What continues to draw you to your chosen field and what do you hope to accomplish in the years ahead?
I enjoy helping people through connection, communication, and positive experiences. Those are the things that draw me to my field. In the years ahead, I hope to find a position doing meaningful work at a company whose mission is to improve the world in a positive and lasting way.
 
What is the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever received? 
Find a mentor, challenge yourself, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
 
Who has been your biggest cheerleader / supporter / mentor?
Helene Silverman at IRI was my first real mentor.
 
How do you negotiate the balance between life and work when you’re the one setting the boundaries? 
Understand that there will be compromises, but one should never eclipse the other. Sometimes work will be the main focus, but over time that should balance out with family and life.
 
If you could tell your younger self one thing about what this professional journey would be like, what would you tell her? 
Build a vast network full of interesting people from all aspects of your life/journey. They will be your biggest resource and support system for the duration of your working life.
 
How do you make work work for you?
I find a job that I love and it doesn’t seem like work. If you view work as a positive part of your everyday life, it won’t seem like an imposition.

Pitch Perfect: Marketing and Innovation Team

Why is this a winning pitch? 
  • The opening is key. She captures the hiring manager’s attention by sharing that she is a customer herself, which means she truly understands the business’ consumer.
  • She shares details from past experiences working on CSR initatives, demonstrating her expertise relate directly to this project!
  • Last but not least, she shares how SHE can add value and that her “scrappy mentality” sets her apart.
Job description- 
We’re looking for a marketing strategist within XXX – the Marketing Innovation Lab. XXX is about the stuff that transforms the company and does things we’re not set up to do today. We’re a SWAT team of innovators participating in high profile, high impact, and agile programs across XXX.  We’re also a think tank, an internal start-up. We’ll use controlled experiments to transform decision making into a scientific, evidence-driven process.
The ideal candidate will be a self-starter who is comfortable with ambiguity, is customer-obsessed, and who is excited about building new technology and customer-facing experiences
Pitch perfect – 
As a XXX customer, the XXX mandate sounds exciting and intriguing.
I’ve consulted on a number projects of financial institutions and my experience includes being on team charged with naming and developing an innovative investment app.
A strategic, innovative and creative thinker, I’m also an excellent storyteller / communicator who can create nuanced materials towards getting buy-in from all stakeholders. I have much experience in “start-up” environments within an established company and can embrace the scrappy mentality while addressing overall corporate/institutional concerns.
My background includes doing strategic and market planning for a telecom-related business, as well as being the inaugural and ongoing strategist for a global digital consumer initiative for Samsung. I’ve project-managed digital Annual Report and CSR initiatives on both the client and agency side (including for financial institutions).

Featured Member: Brooke Sanita

 

When we founded The Second Shift, Brooke Sanita was precisely the kind of member we hoped to serve. Passionate about her profession, dedicated to her family, working hard to make work work without sacrificing everything else that mattered to her in the bargain. We are so proud to cast a spotlight on her journey and share her insights with all of you.
 
Tell us your work story : Who are you and what do you do?
I am an attorney who has practiced commercial, bankruptcy, and business litigation for over 10 years. I am also a mom of 3 young children, ages 6, 5 and 3.
 
What is your proudest professional accomplishment?
Winning my first trial where I represented a foreign buyer from Israel, prepared the case and the witness (while he resided in Israel), and litigated the entire trial on my own—and won. I was the only woman in that courtroom other than the court reporter and I was 9 months pregnant.
 
What is the hardest challenge you’ve faced, work-wise?
Juggling motherhood and work.
 
If you could change one thing about how your given field operates, particularly with regards to women, what would it be and why?
I wish the law would embrace mothers and let lawyers have the professional independence to work and be there for their families. It feels like you have to choose.
 
What advice do you have for other women looking to make a career change but who are afraid or lack confidence? How is it on the other side? 
It’s wonderful to be in control of your own life and to not regret spending time with your family.
 
What continues to draw you to your chosen field and what do you hope to accomplish in the years ahead?
I really love the law and I hope to be able to make it work for me and my family.
 
Who has been your biggest cheerleader / supporter / mentor?
My parents.
 
If you could tell your younger self one thing about what this professional journey would be like, what would you tell her? 
You are going to want more than just a career so set yourself up in an area of law that is conducive to work-life balance.
 
How do you make work work for you?
I’m looking for opportunities that allow me professional independence and trying to learn how to ask for what I need without apologizing.

The Juggle: Rebecca Minkoff

Rebecca Minkoff is the founder of a hugely popular and successful fashion company, an activist for women’s causes, a wife, the mother of 3 young children, and most recently the creator of the Female Founder Collective.

She always seems to be everywhere, doing everything with grace, enthusiasm and style.  Here she shares her tips and tricks and fails for trying to juggle it all!

 

On Scheduling: Every Sunday, Gavin and I review our calendars for the week, and we decide who’s taking which child where; we usually split it up, and then the other one of us works out. So no matter what, we’re both getting up at like 7:15, and taking a child to school, and then the other one who takes the other child also has to hang back with the baby until our nanny comes at nine. Our nanny leaves every day around 6:45 because I leave the office at six, unless I’m going to an after-work thing, in which case we get a sitter or more often than not it’s part of those Sunday meetings. There’s a, what do you have that’s late, what do I have that’s late, and for the most part, we can usually make it work that one of us is home.

 

Our scheduling was very fluid until I asked him to do something and he’s like, “But you’re the one that does that!” And I was like, “Oh, I am?” So, if I had to dissect it, he’s very much all about the school stuff, and I’m all extracurricular and travel.

 

On Household Tasks: Whoever gets to InstaCart or FreshDirect first will do the grocery shopping. As far as laundry, thank god our nanny does it because that would definitely not get done otherwise. And she does light cleaning, too, because she just has the baby during the day, so that makes it a lot easier.

 

We put everything on automatic bill-pay, so there’s nothing to pay. It just is. And we try to put as much on an AmEx as possible, and then just get miles, so when we travel, the kids can live on miles.

 

On Saying No; Saying no is hanging out with friends and having romantic date nights. Those things suffer. It used to be that I’d be like, “Oh, come with me to the work event, it’ll be like we’re on a date!” And even that’s stopped. We close at 3:00 on Fridays, so one idea I had that worked for two solid weeks was to meet at 4, and hang out as a couple from 4 to 6. That happened twice.

 

On Prioritizing: In terms of the business, it was my brother who pointed out that you can’t do all this well. Not in a mean way, but either you’re in the back and you’re in the back or you’re in the front, meaning, if you’re gonna in the back, that’s a 60-hour-a-week job that requires all of your attention to run a team of 18 in eight categories; that leaves no time for traveling to stores, doing social, having the high-level meetings with partners, being out and about, hosting events at your stores. I tried for many years to do both and it was impossible. Because I’d be on the road and they’d be like, “We’re waiting for Rebecca to approve the Pantone or the leather but she’s in California at some show.” So, it was like, which one do you want to do? And if we’re not being selfish, and doing what’s best for the business, it’s probably that you’re forward. Because people relate the brand back to me. 

 

On List Making: I’m very much a writer and checker-offer of lists. I review the list every day and, as they get longer and longer, I prioritize them into urgent, pending, nice to do, so I’m constantly just looking at what’s top priority, what will move the needle faster, and then that’s how I approach planning my week and day. But lately, I’m not going to lie, I have sixteen lists in different pockets. I also organize them by subject, so if I really have enough time on my hands, it’ll be like, this is the FFC list, this is the Super Women list, this is the Rebecca Minkoff list, and then I separate each one of those into urgent, pending, nice-to-do. Sometimes I think people can get lost in thinking everything is urgent. And I’m like, it’s actually not all urgent. You need to prioritize, and figure out what actually moves the needle, and what’s just nice and not going to do anything.

 

On Email: I try and return every email, even if it’s a week late. It used to be like, oh, I’ve got to write back today, and then I was like, actually, I don’t! Unless it’s urgent. On weekends, I used to get sucked into thinking I’ve got to write back to everybody, and then I thought, actually, let me try not doing that and see what happens, and I found that if I get back to people Monday, it’s actually okay.

 

On Travel: These last two weeks, I was gone for four days, home for three days, and then gone for four days, and that did not go well. My daughter was crying every day at school, and the teachers actually said something to me. That’s the first time it’s been that severe. It was also the first time I’ve ever been gone for almost two weeks in a row, so I think that took a toll. I would love to be different, like, “Mommy gets to go here!” But instead I’m like, “I have to go, and I know that sucks for you, but I make money and that’s how I pay for things you like.” And they can kind of understand, but I’m definitely not able to set that example yet of “I am lucky!”

 

Depending on how long I’m gone for, the nanny will sometimes come earlier to help out with school. And then we have a sitter that’ll help out. Like, this week, my husband had to work late on two nights, so we had a sitter come for those nights, so we don’t tax the nanny who has to come earlier. And then I do the same for him when he’s traveling. He’s about to leave for ten days, and thank God the timing wasn’t at the same time, so then I know I’m going to have the babysitter help out at night if I have to work late, and the nanny will come a little earlier. Not much, she’ll come ten minutes earlier, but still, it makes a difference.

 

On Decompressing: I used to keep doing my emails on the subway, and then the whole walk home, and then I would attempt to put my phone away. But the last few months, I turned off all notifications on my phone, so no news, no nothing, which helps so much. Now, I’ll do as many emails as I can get to on my phone, and then the minute I’m at a subway, I actually look at humans as I walk down the street, and it’s a seven minute walk. I don’t look at my phone unless there’s something urgent going on, and I think that has enabled me to go from the office to seven minutes of myself to being home, and not thinking about all my replies and all the work shit, so when I get home, I’m present. And I’m not checking my phone at home until the kids go to bed, and again, it has to be something urgent going on.

 

What happens at night is, I put the baby down, and my husband will put the other two to bed. We did not sleep train the baby, not because we didn’t want to, but we were weak! So, I nurse the baby to sleep, and my husband puts the big ones down. He usually finishes before me. And I’ll get up and immediately get ready for bed. I’ll go, “I love you, you’re awesome, goodnight!” And I’ll go to sleep. His time is, he loves his shows that he watches or whatever, so he’ll sit on the couch for another two hours and decompress that way. I would like to join him, because we like watching TV and shows together, but I just can’t right now. Until this baby sleeps through the night, I’m useless after 10.